Dave began with the ‘magic’ cup-and-ball trick, which he said was known to the Romans and Ancient Greeks. Even though I knew (or suspected) how it was done I could not see how he moved the balls- he was too proficient. He followed this with a 5-card trick too fast for us to really spot the method – his patter and distractions worked too well.
He explained the difference between magic and illusion. “In 1966 an England team won the World Cup – that was magic. Illusion is that people think that will happen again!”
Dave then played the guitar and sang a comic song. He sang ‘I want a proper cup of coffee made in a proper copper coffee pot.’ and we joined in the chorus, shouting “Oy”.
He switched back to magic, doing his ‘rope trick’, using Stan as his assistant. In this trick he cut a piece of cord in half several times in different ways, but it always remained in one piece. It was beautifully done, and Stan played his part admirably!
Then Dave returned to jokes: “Bill had to have an ear transplant. The surgeon gave him a pig’s ear that worked fine except for a bit of crackling.” “Fred, for a dare, ate 18 kg of curry powder. It didn’t kill him but he is now in a korma.”
Next Dave said that he admired the old radio comedians, like Al Read, because he told jokes about the sort of people that you knew. These comedians thought that the way to deal with unpleasant subjects, like death, was to laugh at them. “A husband said to his wife, “When I die will you sell the house?” “No,” she said. “I like living here.” “Will you get married again?” he asked. She said, “I might do, because I won’t want to spend my life alone.” “You won’t let him use my golf clubs, will you? he said. “Oh, no. They won’t be any use to him because he’s left-handed.”
Dave asked if we remembered Max Wall. He said he’d asked many teenaged girls the same question. They all said they didn’t. So why do they dress like him?
He took up a ukulele and played and sang a George Formby song “If women like them like men like those why don’t women like me?” Then more jokes, too fast for me to note them, and a song of ‘The Old Bazaar in Cairo’.
He then told us that Liverpool has produced many, many comedians and he told jokes using different accents: Welsh, Brummie, Scouse. A man asked a lady at the big house if she had any odd jobs he could do. “Take this can of black paint and paint the porch at the back of the house,” she said. Some hours later he came back covered in splashes of black paint to say that he had finished. “But,” he said, “It isn’t a Porshe, it’s a Ferrari.”
A splendid talk that was thoroughly enjoyed by all. Thank you, Dave.